Fire
by elora1
Summary: Daisuke + fire = angst.


Coals in the Fire Fire 

By Elora

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, things about it, and so on and so forth.

Author's Notes: I've had an idea for this story for quite some time, and I've only now decided to write it. This story takes place when the character is 16 or 17. It's angst, no romance, while I may hint at a couple or so. This is probably more of a teaser, I don't think there will be a second part to it. (Though I do have an idea for a continuation on this. But then it wouldn't be a teaser, no?) I'm practicing my angst and such. Suggestions and such are greatly appreciated on how to improve my angst writing. Try to guess who this character is. (It should be painfully easy.)

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He stared into the fire.

Its golden-red flames looked so pretty as they danced around the logs, making shadows flow across the shapes around him. 

But what caught his eye most were the gently glowing coals that lay at the bottom of the fire pit, helping the fire to glow brighter.

__

They look so pretty. I want to touch one….

He wasn't sure why he wanted to do so. Maybe it was because he wanted to see its prettiness up close, maybe he wanted to feel its great warmth, or maybe…he didn't know.

He stood there, staring into the fire with his chocolate brown eyes, contemplating whether to reach in and hold a coal or to leave the fire be.

__

If I touch one of the coals, it will feel like my problems are gone because of what will happen to me. But if I don't touch the coal, I won't have the pain of the fire on my hand.

Why did he want to do this? What made him so intrigued to touch the flame?

--*--

__

I wonder why I've always felt useless.

My mother and father love me. I think.

I think Jun loves me too, no matter how much she pulls my hair and screams at me. Yeah, that's love for you. At least in my screwed up, Motomiya way.

Maybe it's because I've always been rejected. Wait, that's not completely true. Still…

I wasn't able to win Hikari's heart. Of course, that was probably because Takeru was much more charming than I was. That was predicted.

I regret not being able to get closer to the other Destined. I believe that I came on too headstrong at first, and that drove them away, making them not want to get to know me. Yes, that must be it.

I tried. Really, I did!

I tried to help Ken!

At one point, I think I really was his best friend…But maybe I just got too fast for him…

He wanted to go slower, so he slowed down to Miyako's level…and…

The thought makes me feel pained, even now.

Even still!

That's no reason to hurt myself with fire…right?

I just…No one loves me anymore…I just want to be taken care of by someone, and if I'm hurt like this, they'll have to take care of me. Won't they?

I guess that's just my screwed up reality.

--*--

His eyes fazed over, and in a trancelike state, his arm moved almost lovingly towards the flame.

And then, suddenly, reality seized him, and his right arm flung into the fire. He stole a coal from the pit.

White-hot pain flew through his arm, and he threw his head back, but he suppressed his urge to scream. He gritted his teeth, and only made his grip on the coal tighter.

__

I will not let go. I let go of too many things already.

In his daze, he could start to see things; his mother, his father, his sister, the destined, all smiling happily at him. They waved, and then blurred over into a distorted mess that was eaten by the flames of reality in front of him.

__

Mami..? Daddy? Jun?

The stubborn boy refused to let go of the hot rock, and it still burned on. The skin had started to peel away, making it turn disgusting shades of color. It hurt him, badly.

__

Will this help my problems? Will this really make everything be better again, like it used to be? There's no turning back now…

It had become a painful 2nd degree burn. He then turned the coal so the pointed end stuck into his palm, and then he forced it in deeper. The skin continued to be scorched under its immense heat.

The boy began to see a spectrum of colors before his eyes, and he felt that he was going to pass out from the pain and soon. He began to see delusions again…This time, there were eyes, lots of eyes that were staring at him, and there was laughing. Happy laughing.

__

When my hand heals after this and when everything is all right again, I'll be able to laugh happily, too.

He collapsed on the ground from the shock of too much pain, and let the coal roll out of his hand.

--*--

__

When he saw something come out of the blackness of his state, it was himself.

He was floating, upside down, in some kind of world that was completely black. He held his right hand out towards what seemed like 'up'.

His hand was hot red and patched white in some spots, with the skin peeling off in certain places. It burned excruciatingly, and he winced.

"When I wake up, I'll go home and they'll all have to pay attention to me and take care of me. When I feel loved again, I'll be able to laugh happily, just like everybody else."

Daisuke closed his eyes, and waited.

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More Author's Notes:

I used 'and' too many times. I worry about the quality of this writing. Was it good, bad, medium…Suggestions are appreciated. When people give me enough feedback I'd like to remodel this story into something good/better. Also, I have decided there will not be a second part to this. I'd rather just keep it a teaser because I like it and I don't want to ruin it.


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